I have been conspicuously absent from this discourse for a while as I focus on some other pieces of the tapestry of meaning I am weaving in the autumn of my days here on earth. It has been a very organic process, less planned and more unfolding, as I let go of who I have thought myself to be, and allow someone new to emerge and develop. As I sense my way into knowing what threads will become a part of this tapestry, I have wandered into several unknown and unexpected territories. My volunteer venture into tending to the dying has opened up many opportunities of discovery for me, and I am beginning to experience more deeply just how attending to the dying, and embracing death, can take us more deeply into the experience of living. I am finding that leaning into someone's transitioning out of this physical life can open up the experience of the essential energies of creativity and love that are both the source of this life, and the object of our spiritual desires. I have taken brief forays into the exploration of near death experiences, the science of consciousness, and more recently the study of extra terrestrial phenomenon, all of which have contributed to the ongoing dismantling, rearranging and expanding of paradigms and personality that come with the transition of "eldering" I am in at this stage of my life. I would be remiss if I did not also mention my weekly time with my 4 year old granddaughter. It is with her that I have my most direct experience of the LOVE and ONENESS that is at the heart of all creation, and the immediacy of living that holds the space of greatest possibility.
I have watched many emails go by with the minimal nod of appreciation for the work dear Renee and you all are doing, but today I was stopped by the subject of solitude. Perhaps because I particularly need to be stopped at the moment! As Thomas Moore said, "There is no such thing as balance. It is a constant dance between error and extreme". As I do my own personal version of that dance, I need to be periodically stopped by these precious entries, so I can listen more deeply to what is arising within me.
I was instantly pulled in by the first line of the Henri Nouwen quote, "Solitude is the furnace of transformation". I have often used the word "crucible" in my own description of this world as a place of soul making. But the word "furnace" evoked something more visceral for me; an image that involves my whole being, as I sense the heat and emotional intensity implied, and translate that into the mental image of what a furnace is and how it works. I tend to see this world as a living metaphor, and this is a perfect metaphor for me!
"Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self."
- If one step of my "dance of balance" is to engage deeply in the work of community and relationships in general, the other step is to engage more deeply with my own inner life, the place of sifting and sorting where I can recognize on an egoic level (that vehicle that helps us move through the physical world in our uniqueness), what is me and what is other, and also touch that center of essential self, the unifying principle that enables us to relate as unique beings from a place of appreciation when our egos have conflicting stances. When I take time for solitude when I NEED it, much of the "sifting and sorting" happens on it's own as I allow myself to be quiet, and by the end of the day or so, what is true for me will arise and I can go back to engaging with the world. But it is NOT without little bursts of inner dialog between that "false self" (often associated with my OLD SELF) and the more "loving" essence Nouwen calls "God", that solitude and quiet creates space for. I tend to think that we all come in with an innate ability to naturally move to that "love" if we hold our "compulsions of the false self" more lightly, in question.
The operative phrase here is "when I NEED it", and I am still learning how that need presents itself.... usually involving my body in some way.
"Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter—the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self."
- There is a fatigue that I experience as I age that seems common in the eldering community that I am engaging in, around the "struggles" in life. What I am noticing is that I have less energy for "struggle" and seek more easeful ways of being and doing. That is, I suppose, another wisdom of seeking solitude where I can be open to that deeply refreshing "encounter with the loving God"..... if I give myself time enough to "sift and sort" first.
Finally, in the book I was reading this morning about consciousness, the author describes the "ganzfeld" effect, utilized in experiments in the 60's and 70's to facilitate altered states of consciousness conducive to telepathic communication. It involved "gazing into a featureless field" for a period of time, and may partly explain our unexpected, expanding and surprisingly nourishing response to open, and sometimes monotonous or even desolate terrain. I was reminded of this with the image Renee chose to open this entry with, and remembered the meditative state that many of Renee's images evoke.
Thank you all, for this platform of engagement, and may you all be blessed today with what you most "NEED"!
Thank you for offering what can only be named a "contemplation" on Nouwen's passage as you weave these words around and through your present-moment lived experience and reflections . . . and the questions surfacing as you "sift and sort' abiding so close to both ends of life--with persons letting go of life you are caring for and your granddaughter establishing a solid foothold in life, also in your care. I imagine your periods in solitude nurture that care. You mention "old self" as 'false self' showing us that the layers of old are really new as we turn and turn toward our true nature. And you point us to the gestational incubating that happens in the furnace of solitude when we are there . . . "as I let go of who I thought myself to be." And so, we die to the old.
The Great Work of a lifetime. The Great Work of our time.
One of my aunties is Christian (the open-hearted, loving kind) and she often sends me Nouwan’s quotes. He’s quite profound and I always find some relevance/resonance with my own philosophies.
I have been conspicuously absent from this discourse for a while as I focus on some other pieces of the tapestry of meaning I am weaving in the autumn of my days here on earth. It has been a very organic process, less planned and more unfolding, as I let go of who I have thought myself to be, and allow someone new to emerge and develop. As I sense my way into knowing what threads will become a part of this tapestry, I have wandered into several unknown and unexpected territories. My volunteer venture into tending to the dying has opened up many opportunities of discovery for me, and I am beginning to experience more deeply just how attending to the dying, and embracing death, can take us more deeply into the experience of living. I am finding that leaning into someone's transitioning out of this physical life can open up the experience of the essential energies of creativity and love that are both the source of this life, and the object of our spiritual desires. I have taken brief forays into the exploration of near death experiences, the science of consciousness, and more recently the study of extra terrestrial phenomenon, all of which have contributed to the ongoing dismantling, rearranging and expanding of paradigms and personality that come with the transition of "eldering" I am in at this stage of my life. I would be remiss if I did not also mention my weekly time with my 4 year old granddaughter. It is with her that I have my most direct experience of the LOVE and ONENESS that is at the heart of all creation, and the immediacy of living that holds the space of greatest possibility.
I have watched many emails go by with the minimal nod of appreciation for the work dear Renee and you all are doing, but today I was stopped by the subject of solitude. Perhaps because I particularly need to be stopped at the moment! As Thomas Moore said, "There is no such thing as balance. It is a constant dance between error and extreme". As I do my own personal version of that dance, I need to be periodically stopped by these precious entries, so I can listen more deeply to what is arising within me.
I was instantly pulled in by the first line of the Henri Nouwen quote, "Solitude is the furnace of transformation". I have often used the word "crucible" in my own description of this world as a place of soul making. But the word "furnace" evoked something more visceral for me; an image that involves my whole being, as I sense the heat and emotional intensity implied, and translate that into the mental image of what a furnace is and how it works. I tend to see this world as a living metaphor, and this is a perfect metaphor for me!
"Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self."
- If one step of my "dance of balance" is to engage deeply in the work of community and relationships in general, the other step is to engage more deeply with my own inner life, the place of sifting and sorting where I can recognize on an egoic level (that vehicle that helps us move through the physical world in our uniqueness), what is me and what is other, and also touch that center of essential self, the unifying principle that enables us to relate as unique beings from a place of appreciation when our egos have conflicting stances. When I take time for solitude when I NEED it, much of the "sifting and sorting" happens on it's own as I allow myself to be quiet, and by the end of the day or so, what is true for me will arise and I can go back to engaging with the world. But it is NOT without little bursts of inner dialog between that "false self" (often associated with my OLD SELF) and the more "loving" essence Nouwen calls "God", that solitude and quiet creates space for. I tend to think that we all come in with an innate ability to naturally move to that "love" if we hold our "compulsions of the false self" more lightly, in question.
The operative phrase here is "when I NEED it", and I am still learning how that need presents itself.... usually involving my body in some way.
"Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter—the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self."
- There is a fatigue that I experience as I age that seems common in the eldering community that I am engaging in, around the "struggles" in life. What I am noticing is that I have less energy for "struggle" and seek more easeful ways of being and doing. That is, I suppose, another wisdom of seeking solitude where I can be open to that deeply refreshing "encounter with the loving God"..... if I give myself time enough to "sift and sort" first.
Finally, in the book I was reading this morning about consciousness, the author describes the "ganzfeld" effect, utilized in experiments in the 60's and 70's to facilitate altered states of consciousness conducive to telepathic communication. It involved "gazing into a featureless field" for a period of time, and may partly explain our unexpected, expanding and surprisingly nourishing response to open, and sometimes monotonous or even desolate terrain. I was reminded of this with the image Renee chose to open this entry with, and remembered the meditative state that many of Renee's images evoke.
Thank you all, for this platform of engagement, and may you all be blessed today with what you most "NEED"!
Mary,
Thank you for offering what can only be named a "contemplation" on Nouwen's passage as you weave these words around and through your present-moment lived experience and reflections . . . and the questions surfacing as you "sift and sort' abiding so close to both ends of life--with persons letting go of life you are caring for and your granddaughter establishing a solid foothold in life, also in your care. I imagine your periods in solitude nurture that care. You mention "old self" as 'false self' showing us that the layers of old are really new as we turn and turn toward our true nature. And you point us to the gestational incubating that happens in the furnace of solitude when we are there . . . "as I let go of who I thought myself to be." And so, we die to the old.
The Great Work of a lifetime. The Great Work of our time.
Thank you, Mary.
Thanks, I needed some Henri Nouwen today.
Beth, thank you for sharing. 🙏
Nouwen speaks the language of his tradition, but the principles resound across many languages and traditions. Thank you for this reminder.
Beautifully insightful, Tara, and a helpful comment regarding my concerns about posting this passage. Thank you.
Wonderful prairie image!
Thank you, Jim. Makes me wonder if you’ve come across any beautiful prairies. . .
Solitude is a powerful force in my life. Truly a "great struggle and the great encounter." I feel this deep into my bones...
Julie,
I echo you. Thank you for sharing this. 🙏
One of my aunties is Christian (the open-hearted, loving kind) and she often sends me Nouwan’s quotes. He’s quite profound and I always find some relevance/resonance with my own philosophies.
Thank you for sharing this. 🙏 I echo you about profundity and resonances.